they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
