Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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