Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize