4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I just want to make out with him forever
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
