I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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