is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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