just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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