I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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