Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
