he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
