Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
