I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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