I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
