It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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