problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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