is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
