i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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