My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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