Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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