ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
im drinking this country out of the recession.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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