i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
