We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
