i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
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