He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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