mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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