How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
