he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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