Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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