Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(906): View more from Michigan

And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink

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(253): View more from Washington

I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.

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(419): View more from Ohio

I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.

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(248): View more from Michigan

You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...

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(678): View more from Georgia

I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.

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(330): View more from Ohio

I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America

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(314): View more from Missouri

I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario

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(518): View more from New York

Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.

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(703): View more from Virginia

I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.

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