pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
