In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize