no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
