hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
