Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Randomize
