whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize