oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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