Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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