Define "chronic" masturbator.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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