Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
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Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
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she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
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