How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
