Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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