All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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