glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
