I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
