apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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