Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
The air taste purple.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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