I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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