I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
He kissed a someone with a penis
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
