I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
