Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
