miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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