She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I wear drunk well.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
