we have pet lesbian snakes
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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