Michael Bay diarrhea
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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