Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
