I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
