WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
