he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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