So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
