Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
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